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It’s Always Him

In many homes, there are differences in the treatment between daughters and sons.

By Briyitte Montalvo

It’s a well-known fact that males and females are not viewed equally in society, however, it is not a well-known fact that these inequalities may also exist in homes.

If you have a sibling(s) of the opposite sex then you probably know of some differences in how you're both treated. Typically sons seem to be given the responsibility of being hardworking, and starting a family, and are usually allowed to start having relationships earlier than their sisters and aren’t expected to excel in academics with a few exceptions like if they are the only child.

Daughters, however, are given the responsibility of having to clean and cook.

Lord forbid if they don’t know how to cook a five-course meal, how will they find a husband if they can’t do so?

Daughters are also expected to value their studies over dating and are typically confined to their homes, so they aren’t permitted to go to parties and have a stricter curfew than their brothers.

Say bye to your freedom.

They are also usually expected to have children sometime in the future and become stay-at-home wives though this varies from culture to culture.

Now that you’re thinking about it you’ve probably already noticed that what I’ve said up to this point is completely true or has some truth to it.

I understand that parents just want to keep their daughters safe from the outside world, I mean it’s a known fact that females are far more susceptible to being assaulted, in fact, they’re about 38% more likely to be assaulted than men (National Sexual Violence Resource Center).

But daughters are not asking to be given the freedom of going out late at night and partying or clubbing, we’re asking for the freedom of breaking the constraints our parents have placed on us. We’re asking to be given the option to go out with friends during the day, to have sleepovers without having to constantly check in, to not have to cook or excel in academics, to choose if we want children, and to do more than be only a mother.

I personally have been subjected to different treatment than my brothers, I was always expected to want to cook, and my mom made this very clear. She also insisted that as a girl I should be clean yet when I asked about my brothers she would say that they were guys so they weren’t expected to be clean or organized.

Constantly hearing this growing up made me loathe the fact that I was a girl. I wanted to be able to go out and spend time at friends' homes without the excuse that it was for a project the way my brothers could. I didn’t want to be treated like a mother, I didn’t want to learn how to cook or clean the house, and I didn’t want all of the responsibility that came with being a daughter, all I wanted was to be treated like a kid.

With regards to grades, I never really needed the encouragement of my mom as I actually enjoyed school but whenever I would accomplish something big like having principal's honor roll my mom would usually tell me I did good and give me a hug and that was usually the end of it. While my brother would get honor roll and be taken to dinner. As I grew older my mom began to reward me more but never to the degree that my brother was and I became less motivated.

I also remember not being able to rough house in my household with my older brothers because I was a girl and girls can’t play rough, they have to be proper, and wrestling or play fighting wasn’t proper. However, there were times when I was allowed to do so and this restriction was removed as I grew older.

As a daughter, I’ve experienced the difference in treatment between my brothers and me and as an older sister to three sisters and one brother, I just want my sisters to have the freedom that I wasn’t given. I want them to be free and have fun. I want them to be able to rough house and not have to be obligated to cook but rather do so because they themselves want to.

All I ask of parents is to please treat all their children with the same treatment and not force them to fit their ideals but let their kids become their ideal selves.


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