By Breaun Brooks
Most people think their friendships are going to last a lifetime, however, they soon come to the realization that some don’t.
Junior, Kayla Pankey, realized not everyone you meet should become a friend. Pankey threw her friend of three years a pool party for their birthday. Pankey spent months getting decorations, a piñata, food, a cake, pool floaties, and transportation for all the guests to make sure that her friend’s birthday was a time to remember. As Pankey explained her friend’s reaction to the party, she stated, “At the time she was so happy, you know? And excited.”
After what Pankey thought was a successful party, she later found out that her supposed friend started talking about her behind her back. Pankey was taken aback by such news considering everything they had gone through and the big gesture that she had just done for someone she had just called her friend.
Pankey addressed her supposed friend and was constantly reassured, “Oh no like we’re good we’re fine. Like I would never say stuff like that about you.” Even though Pankey was being told one thing, she knew in the back of her mind this friendship wouldn’t last a lifetime.
After what felt like the longest couple of weeks of her life, their friendship finally began to fade. It went from greeting each other in the hallways to walking past each other like they didn't exist in each other's worlds.
When Pankey was asked how this situation affected the way she trusts new people that come into her life, she said “I don’t trust everybody the way I would trust [before the situation]. I don’t invite everybody to my home… I don’t do much for some people because you never know they could cross you.” While this situation left Pankey feeling hurt, betrayed, and underappreciated, she took it as a lesson and not a loss. She is now more cautious and trusts her gut feelings when it comes to meeting new people. She is very careful to not let someone betray her twice.
Pankey expressed that if she had a chance to rekindle the relationship, she would not. Now that they aren’t friends anymore, Pankey was able to reflect back on some situations that had occurred during that specific friendship and even stated, “They [Pankey’s friend] weren’t good from the start and so they’ll probably cross me again since they crossed me once.” Although Pankey wouldn’t rekindle the friendship, she emphasizes that she doesn’t hate the person and if they ever needed someone, she would be there to help. As the bigger person in this situation, she doesn’t hold a grudge against her and is willing to support her ex-friend emotionally, mentally, and physically if she is ever needed.
Trusting a person is always seen as difficult because you are always going to be vulnerable with them. Opening up to a new person is never easy but those people you do connect with will make it all worth the while.
Pankey now determines if someone should be trusted based on their first impression. While this is one way someone can be trusted it isn’t the only way. For some people trust is built over time and for others it is built through actions.